Association Fallacy

Well, my thoughts are that marriage is between a man and a woman. It's a well-established, fundamental pillar of society and no group, be they gays, be they NAMBLA, be they people who believe in bestiality. It doesn't matter what they are. They don't get to change the definition.

People are going to start realizing, why take those antibiotics that are extracts of mushrooms? Why not just have the mushrooms?

Enlightened leadership is spiritual if we understand spirituality not as some kind of religious dogma or ideology but as the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention.

Don't do it again, it was a disgrace. If Saddam Hussein put up 1,000 missiles at our country, who would you go to for help? The Russians or the U.S.? Don't do it again.

(Speaking to Ottawa Hockey fans who cheered for the Russian team against the U.S. in the World Cup Semifinals)

The U.S. will invite El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord who just escaped prison, to become a U.S. citizen because our "leaders" can't say no!

Happy Cinco de Mayo! The best taco bowls are made in Trump Tower Grill. I love Hispanics!

If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?

They say mercury in fish is dangerous but forcing all of our children to be injected with mercury in thimerosol [sic] is no risk. Make sense?

California Gov says yes to poisoning more children with mercury and aluminum in manditory [sic] vaccines. This corporate fascist must be stopped.

If a frog turns into a prince instantaneously, we call that miracle or a fairy tale. But, if that frog turns into a prince very slowly, taking three to four hundred million years to make the transition, we will teach that in our universities as scientific fact.

Good without God becomes 0.

E.R is off the air after 15 seasons. That's what you get with Obama's socialized medicine.

Varying reports on the Hurricane Katrina debacle are pointing fingers in many directions. Who's really to blame for the slow response to the disaster? Let's think about it: Hurricane Katrina...Katrina and the Waves...Waves in the Oceans...Ocean's full of Fish...One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish...Dr. Seuss...The Cat in the Hat...Mike Myers. Oh my God, it's Mike Myers' fault! No wonder he kept quiet when Kanye West started blaming President Bush!

Everyone wants to know who's gonna win the Oscars. Let's start with Best Supporting Actress: you get support from support groups like AA...AAA...XXX...X the Owl...Henrietta Pussycat...What's New Pussycat...Tom Jones...Star Jones...Star Wars...WarGames...Winter Games...Wintergreen...Winter Garden...beer garden...Weisse Beer...Rachel Weisz will win Best Supporting Actress! Oh, she is so lovely.

If the eyes are the window to the soul, then why do they hurt when I spray them with Windex?

If it's an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, why is there no Eyefairy?

The next President will live in the White House...white guy...Guy Smiley...smiley face...horse face...horseshoe...shoe box...Johann Sebastian Bach...Baroque music...Baroque Obama, NO!

Hey, alternating current, why don't you just admit you're bi?

Say I wanted to know who killed President Kennedy: John Fitzgerald Kennedy...F. Scott Fitzgerald...The Great Gatsby...The Great Escape...Escape from New York...The Big Apple...Apples and Oranges...A Clockwork Orange...Stanley Kubrick...directed Barry Lyndon...Lyndon Johnson, oh my God! It was all a plot by Lyndon Johnson to attain the presidency so he could escalate the involvement in the Vietnam War! Makes so much sense.